Intentional Parenting in Islam: Raising Excellent Children by Being Excellent Ourselves

Parenting in the 21st century comes with unique challenges—fast-paced technology, shifting societal values, and the constant pressures of modern life. It is easy to feel overwhelmed and fall into the narrative that “things are harder now than ever.” While this may hold some truth, Islam reminds us that every generation is tested in its unique way. And Allah, in His infinite mercy, has equipped us with the tools to navigate these tests.

Striving with Intentionality
Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’an:
“And that man shall have nothing but what he strives for”
(Surah An-Najm 53:39)

This verse is a powerful reminder that results in life, including in parenting, are tied to sincere striving and effort. In the realm of parenting, this means we can not sit passively, blaming the times or the systems. Instead, we must commit ourselves to intentional parenting—where we raise our children not by chance but by conscious effort, planning, and reflection, grounded in the principles of Islam.

Raising Children Who Thrive, Not Just Survive

Intentional parenting from the Islamic perspective is about more than ensuring our children ‘survive’ the trials of the world. It is about nurturing them to thrive spiritually, morally, emotionally, and intellectually. It is raising children who embody Ihsan (excellence), who stand firm in their deen, and who are prepared to contribute positively to society.

But before we can cultivate this in our children, we must embody it ourselves.

The Journey Starts with Us

We can not pour from an empty jug. Islam emphasizes self-purification (Tazkiyyah) and personal development before seeking to reform others. Our children are reflections of our inner states, our habits, our reactions, and our values. They observe far more than they listen. This is why intentional parenting requires us to look inward first:

* Are we committed to our own spiritual growth?
* Are we exemplifying good character, patience, and resilience in our homes?
* Are we setting boundaries while also modelling mercy and compassion?

Rejecting Parenting Martyrdom

Many parents, especially in today’s busy world, fall into what can be called parenting martyrdom , a mindset where they believe they must sacrifice all of themselves, their identity, and their well-being to be “good” parents. Islam teaches balance. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) modeled for us a life where he fulfilled his role as a father, a husband, a community leader, and a servant of Allah—all while maintaining self-care, joy, and balance.

Intentional parenting does not mean exhausting ourselves to the point of burnout. It means being deliberate in our parenting choices while also nurturing our own souls, relationships, and well-being. It is only from this place of inner wholeness that we can parent from a place of connection, wisdom, and excellence.

In conclusion
Raising excellent children in these challenging times is not only possible, it is promised to those who strive for it sincerely. But it begins with us by becoming the people we want our children to become by modelling excellence, balance, and intentionality in our homes. The road may be long and often messy, but Allah has assured us that what we strive for, we will find.

May Allah make us intentional, balanced, and excellent parents, and may He bless our children to be among the righteous, those who thrive in this world and the next. Ameen.

At LLP Concept, this is why we are here, equipping you with the skills, the knowledge, and the tools needed to raise wholesome children without neglecting ourselves as parents.

• barqbyahju on May 13, 2025 @ 22:41:53

This post was created by Bateekhiii on May 13, 2025.